Oscar and Hepzibah

Oscar has a lot to answer for. He was sitting smugly in our garden as if nothing was wrong and without a care in the world. There was some evidence of a scuffle and Hebzibah was nowhere to be seen. Now, it is not too hard to work out that Oscar had committed an act of moral terpitude in connection with Hepzibah, poor girl. Indeed, it was even possible she was lying moribund or dead behind a hedge or bush, particularly as there were black feathers strewn across the lawn.

It is with huge relief that I can report the discovery of an indignant Hepzibah Hen in a neighbour's garage, where she was taking refuge from the unwelcome attentions of the feline fiend called Oscar. Long live Hepzibah!